Three years ago, I went to the hospital, expecting to recover from a virus like so many others. Instead, it led me down a path I never could have anticipated—one marked by limb loss, physical changes, and emotional challenges that will forever be a part of me. Some people encourage me, lovingly, not to look back, to stay positive and keep my eyes on the future. But I’ve learned that true healing requires more than a smile and a forward gaze. Healing, for me, means allowing myself to sit with my feelings, to feel the sadness of what I’ve lost, and to acknowledge the grief over the life I once had.
Embracing the full weight of my experience—anger, sadness, and the quiet moments of mourning—doesn’t mean I’m depressed or not coping well. Quite the opposite. It’s my way of processing, of giving myself the grace to heal as deeply as possible. For anyone who has been through a life-altering experience, the journey toward resilience and confidence starts with one courageous step: allowing yourself to feel.
Why Feeling is Part of Healing
When we go through traumatic or life-altering events, whether it's a health crisis, a personal loss, or a significant setback, our first instinct is often to “keep going” and “stay strong.” But bottling up emotions or pushing them aside doesn’t mean they vanish. If anything, they become more potent, impacting our mental and physical health, often in ways we don’t initially realize.
Each feeling has its purpose. My sadness, for example, is a reflection of the life that was changed in an instant. Anger, at times, rises in response to the boundaries my body now has that it didn’t before. Rather than viewing these emotions as obstacles, I see them as signposts on the path to understanding myself more deeply. They are reminders of my strength and the journey I’ve been on. Healing requires moving through these emotions, not skipping over them.
Letting Go of the "Weakness" Label
Society tells us to be strong, to be positive, to move forward. But if you’ve experienced something that changes your life, you know it’s not as simple as “staying strong.” Sometimes, in our grief or anger, we can discover new depths of resilience. Sadness, frustration, and anger are not signs of weakness. They are a natural, even necessary, part of processing what we’ve been through.
When others view emotions like sadness or frustration as weaknesses, it can lead us to second-guess ourselves. But if you’ve ever found yourself feeling this way, remind yourself that these emotions are expressions of your humanity and experiences. For me, feeling sadness or frustration doesn’t mean I am ungrateful for my life or don’t appreciate what I have. It simply means that I went through something profoundly heavy, and I need to honor those feelings. The same compassion we would extend to a loved one, we can offer ourselves.
How to Lean into Difficult Emotions
Acknowledge What You Feel: Sometimes, just admitting to myself, “I’m really sad today,” or “I feel angry about this change in my life,” allows me to find a little peace. It can be easy to avoid these feelings, but naming them brings them out of the shadows and into the light.
Practice Self-Compassion: It’s easy to feel like you should “move on” or “be grateful.” But I remind myself that compassion for myself is as essential as compassion for others. If I wouldn’t expect a friend to gloss over their feelings, why should I?
Allow Time to Process: For some losses, like the ones that come with limb loss and physical changes, healing doesn’t have a timeline. There’s no set time for processing; it’s ongoing. On some days, sitting quietly with my thoughts helps me process. On others, talking to a friend or journaling gives me insight into the progress I’m making, even if it doesn’t feel linear.
Seek Healthy Outlets: Processing difficult emotions can take many forms. Sometimes I find that a workout, some time in nature, or creativity lets me channel and release emotions in a productive way. Finding these positive outlets is a powerful way of embracing feelings without letting them control us.
Ask for Support: I’ve learned there’s real strength in seeking support. Sharing my experience, talking through emotions with loved ones, or finding a group of people who understand can be deeply healing. Being able to share my story, and in return listen to others, has helped me process in a way I never could alone.
Embracing Your Strength Through Vulnerability
The journey is about cultivating resilience and confidence, yet it starts with embracing vulnerability. Every feeling I allow myself to experience brings me one step closer to a deeper, more authentic healing. By honoring the full range of emotions—from sadness and frustration to moments of gratitude and hope—I’m creating a foundation of resilience that is unshakable.
So if you find yourself feeling waves of emotion in your own journey, know that you’re not alone. Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to “be okay.” It’s about acknowledging the weight of what you’ve been through and honoring the journey it has taken to get here.
Sadness, anger, and grief are not weaknesses; they are our path to reclaiming strength. By allowing yourself to feel, you’re stepping into a more resilient, more powerful version of yourself. That’s where healing truly begins.
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